Hate Having Guests but Moved Far Away From Family and Friends
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| Quote: Originally Posted by TracySam I definitely like having my ain space and feel really put-off when I have house guests. People who experience most comfy alone experience stress even during happy enjoyable events similar parties, weddings, and yes, even having house guests, if it means being around people for a prolonged menstruum. And yes, a few days can definitely feel like a prolonged menstruum. I disagree that information technology's "selfish" to take all that space for oneself. It's his space; he pays for information technology and is entitled to exercise whatsoever he wants with it. And to say information technology'southward "silly" to get a hotel room, simply for him, it's equally "dizzy" for you to not want to practise that. Plus, if I were the traveling friend, I'd much rather stay in a hotel and only visit the friend than stay in the friend's house. I wouldn't desire to put anyone out, and I would never assume that I should be invited to stay at the friend'south business firm for free. Seems the selfish one might be you. I also concur with the affiche who said it might exist an age thing (instead of a race/ethnicity matter). When I was in my 20s, it was understood amidst my friends that if we went to each other's homes, we'd "crash" there overnight rather than bulldoze habitation. Since my mid-30s however, the assumption is quite the opposite: you go home at the cease of the night. And if y'all come in from out of boondocks, y'all become a hotel room, and we'll gather for dinner or drinks. I also wonder if the guy is truly "lonely" as yous say, or if you are assuming he's "alone" because he's "alone." These are not the same thing. Neat post I'm the same manner. I hate having business firm-guests even if it is my own family. I actually value my privacy and space, it's zilch personal information technology's merely my nature. I wonder why some people (like the OP) don't respect that?? I would never expect to stay in someone's home, in fact I wouldn't even desire to... but at that place are people who take those expectations. Husband and I just bought a condo in Florida and hope to move at that place this yr. I'yard already cringing when certain family members say "when can I come up to visit".... |
01-15-2011, 08:32 AM 
How about when you lot can pay for your ain hotel? lol
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| Quote: Originally Posted by CruisingUSA Like I said, we were friends for over a twelvemonth. At ane signal we were regular moving-picture show and dinner buddies. He was even trying to date me and **** me at one point. I did not let that happen. I do come to encounter him when I'chiliad in town, but being the multi-tasking person that I am, I run into him and get about my plans. Why would you become back and visit someone who tried to **** you when you had no involvement in being ****ed by this person |
? If that were me, I'd put half-dozen states betwixt the ii of us and avert that person similar the plague.| | |||
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| Other than my husband (who I'm fine with picking up subsequently and him moving our things effectually of course), all of my roommates have been obnoxiously loud at all hours of the night (unemployment suckers that don't actually look for piece of work, one was my brother in-law, others were the husbands friends), AND expected me to do all the housework while working total time. I've had plenty of that, so at present I'm nervous most roommates. When it comes to a friend staying in, I trust my friends, but I also feel that while they are around I must entertain them, even in my group of closest friends where when I'm at their places people stop upward doing their own things for a while with laptops, and jail cell phones and whatnot. I was a close in for a lot of my life and I'1000 withal prone to beingness a hermit if they let me lonely long enough! Perhaps introverts are more decumbent to this defoliation on the whole hospitality thing. |
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| Having a houseguest can exist exhausting, fifty-fifty when y'all don't need to entertain them. I know sometimes I'g exhausted before my houseguests get in, from cleaning/cooking/making sure the guest room is in good shape and comfy/stocking the refrigerator so they can fix breakfast for themselves. (Not to mention, hiding anything I want to ensure a houseguest didn't come across.) It's very probable that your friend feels like you're taking advantage of your friendship and treating him every bit a complimentary B&B. |
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| I'g sure this guy in an intorvert and for him an empty business firm is a comfortable i. In that location is nothing incorrect with that. It'southward adept that he's offering his friend a identify to stay merely he probably doesn't get how he'south coming off. That'southward a lot of house and I see how it seems wasted, but then half the houses y'all see in HGTV look overly large for the couple and i kid and I guess that's up to them. Personally I don't similar houseguests. A friend is going to come out and visit this summer and my son eventually just thats information technology. I'd get out either of them in the house, but there isn't going to be a guest I wouldn't. And I myself would much rather stay at a motel and not experience like I was getting in their way. Last time my son visited fifty-fifty if I don't run across him that often I had a great sigh of relief when he went abode since it was and so hard to relax with someone else in my space. And I get frustrated with a relative who keeps complaining about things dissapearing. Simply you need a couch for the night, or a floor for the night, sure, no trouble. Yous stick around for more than fourth dimension and she'll eventually tell them to get, but won't push it, simply complains. She says she feels 'lonely' if other people aren't around. This is a foreign concept to me. My infinite is my space and that's how I like it. Nada requires usa to be social and if people don't desire to its upwardly to them. I think this guy likes the OP and is trying but can only go so far. I don't recollect it would injure to say I'd similar to sleep in and will lock the door. On the other hand, if the OP isn't comfy only tell him a hotel offers more flexable hours. Of course if y'all are staying at a hotel for one nighttime, most want you out of the room by apex so your non getting much more than time. Not only hispanics will offer a place to stay. If you get visit relatives beyond the country and are without a car, then its not unusual to stay with someone. I care for my relatives, just it simply made me want to get the visit over quicker and go home and to my own schedule. Then there are those people who are willing to brand their house the village? With ten cars and people all over the place, and noise all the time? I'yard not dealing in nationalities, but all the cars and dissonance and so forth gets REAL one-time quick to neighbors and you do owe your neighbors some respect too. If the village visits for a few days is one affair but if they move in they demand to move on. Some cities allow only then many cars per household also and its unfair to the people who live around them to fill upwardly the street. If your guests get excessive then its time for a motel. I'm all with him on roommates. If its personal or splitting costs, they are still annoyances. Had to put up with that for a while and LOVE the emptiness of my house except for things which bark and meow. Terminal edited past nightbird47; 04-29-2013 at 02:23 PM.. |
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| Some just like their privacy more than than others. |
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| I know this is an one-time thread only I croaky up at information technology. OP says "Anyhow, I have a friend who I've known for over a year now. I used to live in the same city as him merely moved about four months ago. During that time I lived alone and in the past iv months I accept been traveling on assignment ever since." A friend you've know for over a year only you moved away iv months ago? I would not call that a friend especially 1 that rebuffed me when I wanted more than than a friendship. This guy is doing everything possible to irritate Cruising and so she won't come up dorsum. Guests like this is the reason they make room darkening window blinds, peepholes and caller ID. |
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| Having somebody within my infinite all the fourth dimension is annoying and irritating unless information technology is somebody hot 'northward' fit whose up for sexual practice 8 hours a day. |
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| He is in his l's and he made his life the way he wants and needs it. He owes you nothing but friendship. He does not owe you a place to stay. You are mistaken about that. I know you are in need merely it is not his problem. He has the right to do with his home and time equally he sees fit. You are not a family member, just a friend and information technology is wrong for you to phone call him selfish. Don't presume you know his feelings and what he needs and wants in his life. |
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| Why exercise some people think that moving in is okay? And don't "get it". I knew a woman, she was moving to where I lived, and "assumed" she could crash with me...no. I am an developed, she is an adult. If she is moving to a city, she can stay in a hotel while looking for a place. I don't think I was obligated to give her a place to stay.. Why was I so "mean"? Because, I have seen things like this go bad....where the person never moves out, or pays rent. I take no need for drama in my life. |
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